Unhealthy Obsessions
by Elizabeth Wilde
Summary: Shina and a confused Shenlong meet in a bar. Wackiness ensues.
1. Drawn

Author: Elizabeth Wilde  
Title: Drawn  
Series: Unhealthy Obsessions #1  
Distribution: Anyone who has my fic, anyone who asks me for it  
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Bloody Roar characters or the song "Trip My Wire" by Garbage, much as I wish I did. I'm not making any money, and there's really no point in suing.  
'Ship: some Shina/Shenlong  
Classification:   
Summary: Shina and a confused Shenlong meet in a bar.  
Rating:   
Spoilers: BR1 & 2  
Feedback: to vampire_slayer_d@2die4.com  
  
*Be careful with me  
I'm a fighter  
And you're a cheat and  
You're a liar*  
  
The man was definitely familiar. //Where the hell do I know him from?// Shina leaned against the jukebox, glaring at one drunken redneck who dared inch too close to it. "Don't even think about it, buddy."  
  
The man squinted as if considering his chances, then slurred and apology and staggered back to his table. Shina smiled. //Too easy.// She fed the machine another quarter and pressed E-13, smiling as "Break Stuff" began playing again. Limp Bizkit was hardly common fair for such a bar, but when someone like Shina "politely requested" an addition to your play rotation, it was difficult to refuse.  
  
Her gaze returned to the man hunched over the bar. He rarely moved, save to signal for another drink or glare at people who tried to sit too close. //I know him. God, there's something...// Though she'd only had three beers, Shina's mind wasn't working at full capacity. Still, there was something in his form... //Only one way to get a better look.// Stalking over to the bar, she moved in next to the man and asked, "This seat taken?" before promptly sitting down. "Is now."  
  
The man's head turned slowly toward her. His jaw was set, his entire posture tense. What really got Shina were his glowing red eyes, though. //That's just not normal... Hey! Well, goddamn, of all people...// "You're that dumbass clone of Busuzima's! Figured you'd be dead by now!" she exclaimed, not caring who heard.  
  
The man growled low and the fingers clenching his beer mug twitched as if desperate to grab hold of her throat. "Don't mention me in the same sentence as that bastard. That dearly departed bastard," he added with a slight smile, gaze returning to the tepid alcohol on the bar in front of him.  
  
Shina arched an eyebrow. He seemed more coherent than last time if not any more sane. //And maybe it's the beer talking, but he's kinda... hot. Kinda really hot. Damn.// "Took him out?"  
  
"Yes, as a matter of fact, I did. Ripped out his throat with my bare hands and watched the blood flow." He smiled, demonic eyes gauging her reaction. "Glad you asked?"  
  
"Yeah. Just sorry I didn't get to do it." A feral grin spread across her face. //I am definitely buzzed. Or maybe flat-out drunk.// "Gimme another beer over here, huh?"   
  
The bartender leered at her, then handed over a slightly-chilled bottle. "Sure thing, honey."  
  
Shina's hand shot out and she pulled him across the bar by the front of his shirt. "You're new, so I'll let that slide this time. Call me honey again and I'll remove your spleen through your eye socket."  
  
The man blinked, then stammered, "S-sorry, ma'am. D-didn't m-mean to offend you, honest!"  
  
"Didn't think so." Shina released his shirt and sat back down on the barstool only to find her drinking buddy staring at her. "What?"  
  
"I like your style. Very nice."  
  
A blush crept over Shina's cheeks and she hoped fervently that the dim lighting of the bar hid it or that he attributed the change to the amount of alcohol in her system. //And why do I care what he thinks?// "Yeah, well, I learned from the best."  
  
"Your father."  
  
"Yeah." She looked the man over carefully. His hair was cut short, dyed black. It suited him. He'd had a change in wardrobe too. The ornate gi he'd worn when they last met--//fought//--had been replaced with a delicately-embroidered maroon velvet top that hung open slightly at the top. //Mmm... nice build... God! He's a psycho! He confessed to murder not two minutes ago. Of course, I'm not exactly in a bloodless line of work... but he did it for kicks! That's... wrong. Yeah. Wrong. Bad. Man, his hair looks soft...// Shina shook her head, hoping it would clear the thoughts away. "So, um, what's your name anyway? I mean, wha'd'ya go by?"  
  
"Shenlong."  
  
She nodded once, then held out her hand. "Shina."  
  
The man smiled, took her hand, then raised it to his lips in a surprisingly gallant gesture, placing a feather-light kiss on the sensitive skin of her palm, just between the calluses that covered it. Shina swallowed. Fire radiated throughout her body from the point of contact. "It's a pleasure to finally 'meet' you, Shina."  
  
"Uh-huh. I mean, yeah, good to meet you too. I guess." She pulled her hand away and looked anywhere but his eyes. "I should maybe go. Y'know, before I get wasted." The lame joke came off as a desperate attempt at retreat. //Which it is...//   
  
"I'll see you again."  
  
Shina's head snapped up, and their eyes met. She found herself nodding, then stood, almost falling in the process when her foot tangled around one of the stool's legs. A hand, strangely, incongruously soft, wrapped around Shina's arm, steadying her. "Careful. Wouldn't want you hurting yourself."  
  
Her blue eyes slightly wide, Shina nodded again, then shook her head. "Uh, g'night."   
  
As she moved dazedly toward the exit, she heard Shenlong whisper--//How can I hear a whisper over this noise?//--"Sweet dreams."  



	2. Contact

Author: Elizabeth Wilde  
Title: Contact  
Series: Unhealthy Obsessions #2  
Distribution: Anyone who has my fic, anyone who asks me for it  
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Bloody Roar characters or the song "Temptation Waits" by Garbage, much as I wish I did. I'm not making any money, and there's really no point in suing.  
'Ship: Shenlong/Shina  
Classification:   
Summary: Shina starts off the morning with an interesting phone call.  
Rating: PG-13  
Spoilers: BR1 & 2  
Feedback: to vampire_slayer_d@2die4.com  
  
*You are a secret  
A new possession  
I like to keep you guessing*  
  
"What?" a decidedly pissed voice on the other end of the phone demanded. There was murder in the tone.  
  
"Sleep well?" Shenlong smiled at the hissing breath he heard.  
  
"How'd you get this number?"  
  
"That would be telling." He waited a moment, long enough to let her wonder, to let the wheels turn. "What did you dream?"  
  
There was complete silence from the woman being questioned, but Shenlong could hear the sheets shifting on her bed as she sat up. Cotton, apparently. It rustled gently, the sound almost soothing. "Look, this is a little on the creepy side. A lot on the creepy side."  
  
"You don't sound convinced."  
  
Another moment of silence. "It's creepy."  
  
Shenlong smiled. She was saying exactly what she should, exactly what anyone was supposed to say when a known killer tracked down their phone number and called before the sun came up. "You don't believe yourself. Why should I believe you?"  
  
"Because... Hey, I don't hafta explain myself to you!" she protested, voice sounding clearer, less clouded with dreams and the thickness of sleep. "How'd you get this number?"  
  
"Is that really what you want to know?"  
  
"Why the fuck else would I ask?"  
  
There was far less anger than the words indicated in the woman's voice. "To avoid learning something you'd rather not know."  
  
The silence stretched on, her breathing coming a bit more rapidly, hissing against the phone and crackling in his ear. "Leave me alone."  
  
"You don't want me to."  
  
"The fuck I don't! You're fucking nuts!"  
  
"Then why haven't you hung up yet?"  
  
There was a pause, the sound of her breathing, harsher and faster than before, then a click. A second later, only the steady hum of a disconnected line could be heard. Shenlong smiled.  



	3. 

Author: Elizabeth Wilde  
Title: Chase  
Series: Unhealthy Obsessions  
Distribution: Anyone who has my fic, anyone who asks me for it  
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Bloody Roar characters or the song "Wicked Ways" by Garbage, much as I wish I did. I'm not making any money, and there's really no point in suing.  
'Ship: Shenlong/Shina  
Classification: general, creepy stalking  
Summary: Shenlong watches Shina.  
Rating: PG-13  
Spoilers: BR1 & 2  
Feedback: to vampire_slayer_d@2die4.com  
  
*I tried hard to mend my wicked ways  
Acted like a lunatic for years  
Lord knows I try to be good  
I'd keep my promises if only I could*  
  
I watch her leave the house for the second time in twenty-four hours. She looks around, making a quick scan of the area. Sees nothing unusual. She will continue to see nothing until I choose to reveal myself. But not yet. She's gone. Now comes the thinking between the watching, the waiting, the needing to glimpse her again.  
  
I'm not entirely sure why I watch her, why it is she who has become the focus of my obsession. Perhaps her beauty, her strength. Such strength! She has seen much for someone so young and has survived to tell about it.   
  
I speak of youth when I am less than three years old myself. Ironic. But there's no point in dwelling on such things. I remember more past than I can honestly claim. Some of it is too much a part of me to release. Most of it isn't... pretty. My memories are painted with the blood of those I've killed and ordered so, streaked with their screams.   
  
More than strength makes her fascinating. Strength alone is useless at best. The things she has experienced, the scars left by those things, have allowed her to see more than most people imagine. Knowledge is a beautiful thing. She knows the place where pain, pleasure, cruelty, and kindness melt together in a vibrant wash of ecstasy. She understands. So few people understand; fewer still appreciate the understanding.  
  
It's been more than a week since the phone call. I might believe she had left off thinking of me, save for the nervous glances when she leaves the house, the way I see her peering out the window from time to time, beautiful blue eyes searching. She's still thinking, wondering. Wanting.  
  
I know this is wrong, a poor choice of methods to garner her interest, but nothing else gives me the same thrill. I think the same goes for her. She is not used to being the hunted. The prey. It is exciting. The rush of knowing there's nowhere to hide, the perverse thrill of the chase, the heady moment of the catch.  
  
And I will catch her.  
  
She wants me to.  



	4. Catch

Author: Elizabeth Wilde  
Title: Catch  
Series: Unhealthy Obsessions #4  
Distribution: Anyone who has my fic, anyone who asks me for it  
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Bloody Roar characters or the song "Hammering in my Head" by Garbage, much as I wish I did. I'm not making any money, and there's really no point in suing.  
'Ship: Shenlong/Shina  
Classification: pre-smut (cuz I'm too chicken to write the real thing)  
Summary: Shenlong pays Shina a visit.  
Rating: R  
Spoilers: BR1 & 2  
Feedback: to vampire_slayer_d@2die4.com  
  
*I knew you were mine for the taking   
I knew you were mine for the taking   
Knew you were mine taking when I walked in the room   
I knew you were mine for the taking   
I knew you were mine for the taking   
Your eyes light up when I walk in the room*   
  
"I should probably feel surprised," Shina drawled, leaning against the doorframe and raising an eyebrow.  
  
Shenlong smiled at her from his place beside her bedroom window. "Not really. I've been watching you. You knew that. There's no need for surprise."  
  
She shifted a bit uneasily. "Okay, maybe I should just feel freaked out."  
  
"Maybe you should." He took a step away from the window, red eyes shining in the dim room. The only light came from the half-full moon outside her window. "But you don't, do you?"   
  
Some unidentifiable emotion briefly flashed across Shina's face, then she shook her head. "Not really." They spent a silent moment staring across the darkness, neither so much as blinking. "So, what do you want?"  
  
Shenlong waved the question away with one hand. "You already know that. You knew that night in the bar." He stepped closer and watched as Shina's posture became instantly rigid, tense. "Now really isn't the time to decide you're shy." Shina made an obvious effort to relax, but the results were less than encouraging. "Come here."  
  
Shina hesitated, then moved toward Shenlong, steps slow and deliberate. "I'm not afraid."  
  
"Yes, you are. That's half the fun." His hand shot out, grabbing her by the hair and jerking her closer. A second later, his lips were against hers, kissing her with bruising force. Shenlong's free hand slid to the small of her back, holding her fast. "Are you afraid now?" he hissed in her ear.  
  
"No." It was an effort to keep her voice from cracking as she spoke. Even though every rational part of her mind and body was screaming to turn away, Shina remained where she was, pressed tight against Shenlong. Made bold by her racing heartbeat and erratic breathing, she asked, "Are you?"  
  
The man's eyes flashed, then he laughed low. "I'm never afraid."   
  
"I don't believe-" The words were cut off by another passionate kiss, and suddenly any attempts at gaining focus flew from Shina's head as they moved toward her bed.  



	5. Break

Author: Elizabeth Wilde  
Title: Break  
Series: Unhealthy Obsessions #5  
Distribution: Anyone who has my fic, anyone who asks me for it  
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Bloody Roar characters or the song "Temptation Waits" by Garbage, much as I wish I did. I'm not making any money, and there's really no point in suing.  
'Ship: Shenlong/Shina  
Classification: general, angst  
Summary: Shina balks when Shenlong tries to take their relationship to a new level.  
Rating: PG-13  
Spoilers: BR1 & 2  
Feedback: to vampire_slayer_d@2die4.com  
  
*You come on like a drug  
I just can't get enough  
I'm like an addict coming at you for a little more*  
  
"What is it?"  
  
Shina's gaze immediately snapped towards the door. "Nothing."  
  
Her father leaned on the doorframe and tilted his head. "Of course not. You're being even more of a hardnose than usual because everything is fine. Makes perfect sense to me."  
  
The young woman groaned. "This must be where I got my biting sarcasm. Hurts being on the receiving end."  
  
"Payback's a bitch."  
  
Shina mock-glared at Gado, then said, "It's really nothing. Honestly. I've just been doing too much thinking and not enough doing. I just need to go kill something, then I'll be all better," she half-joked. "Don't worry."  
  
"I always worry."  
  
"I'm fine."  
  
"I still worry," Gado replied with a slight smile before walking back down the hall.  
  
//I'm not fine. I'm probably farther from fine than I've ever been.// Shina lay back on her bed and tried to clear her mind. Unfortunately, she couldn't keep her thoughts from drifting to Shenlong. With her eyes closed and the mattress at her back, she could almost feel his hands on her body, his lips exploring along with them, harsh and possessive, like fire against her skin. So far he'd only come to her twice. The first night and once again. //Less than two days and I'm already jonesing like a goddamn junkie.//   
  
The fact that she was sharing a small rental house with her father didn't help anything. She had brought guys home before. //Nice, normal guys with a shred of sanity left.// Gado was tolerant, had even joked with one young man the next day over breakfast about his "intentions" toward his daughter.   
  
//Look on the bright side, dad's already met Shenlong.// Shina allowed herself a bitter half-smile. //Yep. "Hi, dad! You remember Shenlong, right? The psycho clone that was the head of the ZLF? Of course you do! Guess what? We're... What the hell are we doing? Not dating. That involves dates. We're not lovers. That implies making love. We fuck.// She actually felt a small amount of surprise that her father hadn't complained about the noise. Shenlong liked to growl, and she'd done more screaming in their two nights together than she had during any fight. They spent their time alternately bringing each other to extremes of pain and pleasure until it all became one.  
  
//Oh, yeah, I'm over the deep end. He's the guy my mom would have warned me about if I'd had one around. Or maybe this is genetic and my mom was a freak too. Mon deiu. I should stop thinking. Definitely not good for my sanity. Assuming I have any sanity left. Honestly, what sort of person am I? Do I lack self-esteem or something?//  
  
With a growl of frustration, Shina rolled onto her side, determined to sleep the night through for once.  
  
---------------------------------------  
  
"What the fuck do you want?" Shina mumbled, still mostly asleep, eyes shut tight, assuming her father had gone on one of his obnoxious fitness kicks again and wanted to take her for an early morning jog.  
  
"I want... to talk."  
  
Shina's eyes flew open and she snapped into a sitting position. "T-talk?" She blinked once, looking at the man sitting on the edge of her bed up and down. //Shenlong wants to talk. Uh-huh. Riiii-iiight.// "Why do you want to talk?"  
  
He seemed almost nervous, edgier than usual. "People talk," he finally said, as if it explained everything.  
  
"Yeah, I've heard that someplace." Shina sighed and ran a hand through her hair, wincing at how bedraggled it was. //All nice and flat and matted. Yep, I'm lookin' real good.// "So you came here in the middle of the night so we can have a chat?"  
  
Shenlong blinked uncertainly, then nodded. "Yes."  
  
"Oh-kay." //Thought it felt a little nippy outside. Hell must've frozen over.// Making a concentrated effort to focus her thoughts, Shina asked, "What is it we're going to be discussing? Religion? Politics? The environment?"  
  
"You."  
  
"Me?"  
  
He nodded again.  
  
"Me. What about me exactly?"  
  
"Anything."  
  
"Oh, that. Sure." //He's really snapped. Not that he was particularly balanced before...// "Why do you want to talk about me?"  
  
"I don't know you."  
  
Shina raised an eyebrow. "I have bitemarks all over my body that tell a different story." She had to fight the urge to back away when he smiled.  
  
"You know what I mean."  
  
"Yeah. I do." It was Shina's turn to shift uncomfortably. "Just... we don't exactly... This is weird. We don't talk."  
  
"We haven't talked. That doesn't mean we can't."  
  
"Maybe it does," Shina replied, sounding almost sad. "We have exactly one thing in common, and-"  
  
"We may have more. We don't-"  
  
"I don't think I want to know." Shina stared resolutely at her hands, which twisted nervously in her lap. "Maybe you should go."  
  
"Maybe I should."  
  
Shina fought the irrational urge to apologize. //What do I have to apologize for? He's the one getting all creepy about it.// She held her breath as he rose from the bed. Rather than seeing the motion, she felt the bed shift as his weight disappeared from the mattress. There were no further sounds, but when she looked up, the room was empty again. She was alone.  



	6. Steps

Author: Elizabeth Wilde  
Title: Steps  
Series: Unhealthy Obsessions #6  
Distribution: Anyone who has my fic, anyone who asks me for it  
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Bloody Roar characters or the song "#1 Crush" by Garbage, much as I wish I did. I'm not making any money, and there's really no point in suing.  
'Ship: Shenlong/Shina, Long/Jenny  
Classification: humor, angst  
Summary: Shenlong turns to an old 'friend' for advice.  
Rating: PG-13  
Spoilers: BR1 & 2  
Feedback: to vampire_slayer_d@2die4.com  
  
*I will burn for you  
Feel pain for you  
I will twist the knife and bleed my aching heart  
and tear it apart*  
  
"Gah! Damn, don't do that!" The curvaceous blond snapped, re-affirming her grip on the bags of groceries in her arms. She sent an annoyed glare toward the man who had given her such a start, then shoved the bags into his arms. "I'll get the door, you carry those." After a moment, Jenny shoved the door open and stepped inside. "You can throw those down in the kitchen. Nothing breakable and nothing that won't keep."   
  
Once the man had complied, he returned to the living room, where Jenny was busy removing her shoes and throwing them into a corner. "Sit down. I'm interested to know why you're here."  
  
Shenlong hesitated for a moment, then sat down in a chair near the door. "I would like to ask you for some... advice."  
  
"Advice, huh?" Jenny sat down on the couch and curled her feet beneath her. "What kind of advice exactly?"  
  
"Advice on... on women."  
  
The model grinned and raised an eyebrow. "Wanna know how to impress the ladies, huh? Got anybody particular in mind?"  
  
"Shina."  
  
"Shina... Shina Gado?!" Jenny's eyes were wide and she groaned. "Oh, Lord. You know how to pick 'em. Creating one hell of a conflict of interests for me too. Alan-Gado-and me go way back. Feel sort of bad not telling him his daughter is dating... well, you."  
  
"I understand."   
  
He rose as if to leave but Jenny said, "Whoa! Sit yourself down, buddy boy. I didn't say I won't help. I imagine you really need it if you came here to me. Points for bravery. So... you've given up the psycho bit? Kidding, of course. What's with the two of you? I mean, you're... dating?"  
  
"We slept together."  
  
"Okay. Was there dating before that?" Jenny prompted.  
  
"No."  
  
"Oh." She bit her lip, then ventured, "So what did you want advice on exactly? Because I don't do sex ed. Well, for you."  
  
"I would like to... know her," Shenlong replied, face solemn as ever.  
  
"Know her?" Jenny's emerald eyes finally lit with understanding. "You care about her! Does she feel the same way?"  
  
He frowned and looked away. "I tried to... to speak with her, and... she asked me to leave."  
  
"Damn. Not hopeless, but that does put a wrench in the works. She's scared." Jenny didn't need to add, 'Or she just doesn't like you as anything but a sex toy.' "I've known her for a long time. We're not friends or anything. She didn't appreciate the, uh, nature of my relationship with her father. But I know enough to know she isn't easy to get know. Hell, even Gado probably doesn't know much about her. She's a 'tough girl'. Likes to pretend she doesn't need anything or anyone. Not an easy way to live.  
  
"Anyway, she's got all kinds of walls and boundaries. Just because she let you into her bed doesn't mean she wants to settle down and have kids." Jenny seemed lost in thought for a moment. "She's kind of the anti-me relationship-wise. I've never slept with anyone I didn't care about. I may not have been in love, but I cared. I don't know if Shina's ever been with anyone she wanted to spend more than a night with. Anything more than that requires attachments and feelings and all sorts of uncomfortable stuff like that.  
  
"Tell me something: Do you care about her enough to want to break the walls down? If you don't, you might as well find somebody else to play with. Getting to Shina won't be easy and it won't be fun, and it's gonna hurt the both of you like hell. So... do you want to?"  
  
Before he could reply, the door opened and Long stepped inside, face shifting from a smile to blank shock, then tentatively back again. Jenny stood and gave him a quick kiss. "We've got company."  
  
"I... see."  
  
"He needs advice on women."  
  
"Ah."  
  
"So he came to talk."  
  
"Ah."  
  
"So we're just going to keep talking while you stand there and absorb this."  
  
"Alright."  
  
Jenny sat on the couch again, pulling Long down beside her, keeping him furthest away from Shenlong. "So do you?"  
  
"I do," Shenlong replied quietly, looking almost as dazed and confused as Long.  
  
"That's the main thing. If you care, you'll try. Your problem comes from lack of emotional stability and not knowing a damn thing about romance. Right?"  
  
He nodded, looking only mildly irritated at her assessment.  
  
"I figured. Keep it simple. Shina's not the kind of girl who wants her name written in the sky. That would piss her off. Here I am forced to ask a question I really don't want to know the answer to at all: When you two are, uh, together... that is... Oh, hell, do you make love or do you fuck?"  
  
There was no hesitation before Shenlong said, "We fuck."   
  
"There's part of the problem. Rough and dirty's fun as a supplement, but it's best to start with... exploring. Little late for the 'shouldas,' though, so we'll move on to what comes next: Leave her a letter."  
  
"A letter?"  
  
"A letter. You don't have to be all flowery and weird about it. That would just make her think you're a raving lunatic. It's not you. Be yourself. Tell her how you feel, tell her what you want." Jenny leaned forward and shook her finger in his face as she said, "The most important thing is: NO MIND GAMES. Women don't like them. Well, okay, so we do sometimes. But it's not the way to go if you want to stay with her. You need to be honest and straightforward. New territory for you, but, hey, what isn't, right? I mean, you're... what? Three years old?"  
  
"What are we talking about?" a slightly worried voice asked from behind Jenny.  
  
Leaning back into Long's arms, the woman replied, "The kid here is trying to impress his girlfriend. Oh, get this-he's with Shina!"  
  
Long's eyes went wide with horror. "Why did you tell me?!"  
  
"Because you asked," she replied with a slightly evil grin.  
  
Long made a noise of disgust and winced. "I just got a mental image!"  
  
"It's your own fault." With that, Jenny sat up straight again. "So you're going to write a letter, tell her how you feel, then use your common sense on what the next move is. If you don't have common sense... try to think about what somebody sane might do."  
  
Shenlong frowned slightly, but replied, "Alright. And that will work?"  
  
Jenny shrugged. "Won't know until you try."   
  
Shenlong rose and moved toward the door. "Thank you."  
  
"No problem. Good luck, huh?" Jenny watched as the clone exited the apartment. "Well, that was an easy nine out of ten on the weird-o-meter." When Long didn't respond, Jenny craned her neck to look over at him. "Honey, are you okay?"  
  
Eyes still wide, Long shook his head.  
  
Jenny smirked, then stood, grabbing Long's hands and pulling him along behind her. "C'mon, we're gonna go take a shower. That should take care of the dirty feeling." She threw a smile back at him. "Well, should replace it with a different one anyway."  



	7. Words

Author: Elizabeth Wilde  
Title: Words  
Series: Unhealthy Obsessions #7  
Distribution: Anyone who has my fic, anyone who asks me for it  
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Bloody Roar characters or the song "Dumb" by Garbage, much as I wish I did. I'm not making any money, and there's really no point in suing.  
'Ship: Shenlong/Shina   
Classification: angst  
Summary: Gado finds Shenlong's letter to Shina  
Rating: PG-13  
Spoilers: BR1 & 2  
Feedback: to vampire_slayer_d@2die4.com  
  
*Maybe I could write a letter  
to help me with my self-esteem  
You should get to know me better  
No-one's ever what they seem*  
  
With a final sigh of disgust, Shina crumbled the letter up in one hand and threw it onto the floor. //What the hell kind of game is he playing? Being used for sex is one thing. This... this is just sick.//  
  
She went into the makeshift weight room Gado had set up and headed for the punching bag. //This should help.// As she mercilessly pounding the bag, Shina could see the words Shenlong had written swimming in front of her.  
  
~Shina,  
  
This will sound strange. It feels strange to write. Forgive me if I say everything wrong. This is not exactly familiar territory for me. Perhaps not for you either.  
  
I told you already that I want to know you. That is still true. I know no more about you than any standard intelligence report would tell me. I would suggest that we need to work on communication in our relationship, but I realize we do not have a relationship.   
  
You made it clear that you are not interested in a relationship with me. I am afraid I cannot take you at your word in this case. I believe we could be good together out of bed as well as in. You are a fascinating woman.  
  
You fear having something in common with me. Much as I wish I could somehow allay this fear, I might feel no differently in your place. My past, brief though it may be, is a bloody one. I regret none of it. That is not to say I might not make a different choice faced with the same situation now, but at the time I acted in the best way I knew.   
  
I regret nothing  
  
I hope that you have a similar lack of regret, particularly in regard to 'us', whatever category our trysts might fall under. Never before have I wanted anything the way I wanted you, the way I want you now. I will leave this letter beside your bed now. You will never know how strong the temptation to join you is. I want to be with you again.  
  
I will come again in a few days to receive your reply, though I am unsure if I have clearly illustrated my question.  
  
Yours,  
Shenlong~  
  
------------------------------------------  
  
"Shina? Would you like..." Gado's words trailed off when he realized his daughter wasn't in her room. He walked into the room, frowning slightly at the lack of any personalization. There were no pictures, no posters, none of the personal touches that made a room belong to a person. //She treats it as if it's a barracks, not a room.//   
  
Spotting a half-crumpled ball of paper, entirely out of place in the mostly sterile room, on the floor, he picked it up, smoothing the sheet as much as possible. Even as Gado reached to place the paper on Shina's dresser, the signature at the bottom caught his attention. //Shenlong? What the Hell...// Knuckles white, he gripped the paper, reading it through once, again. //Mon deiu...//  
  
------------------------------------------  
  
If it weren't for her well-honed reflexes, Shina would have pounded her fist into Gado's face when he appeared between her and the punching bag. "Shit! What do you think you're doing? I'm working out!" Without a word, Gado held up the letter. Shina's back stiffened. "You were going through my room?"  
  
"Of course not. Not that I have any reason to explain, but I was going to see if you wanted to spar. I saw the letter on the floor and was putting it on your dresser when I saw the signature." Gado folded massive arms across an equally massive chest. "What is going on between you and Shenlong?"  
  
"You sure you read that? Even the part where he talks about me not wanting anything to be happening?"  
  
"You're avoiding the question," Gado said, clearly not impressed with Shina's attempt at evasion. "What does he mean by 'trysts'?"  
  
Shina's eyes flashed. "He means exactly what you're thinking. I'm a grown woman."  
  
"Which is all the more reason you should know better than to become involved with someone like him! You are an intelligent young woman, and-"  
  
"And what? So I should put on a nice frilly dress and go have tea parties and wait for my fucking prince?" Shina stepped around Gado and slammed her fist into the punching bag hard enough to almost jar it free of the ceiling. She wheeled around to face her father again, and there were tears running down her cheeks. "Is that what you want me to do?"  
  
Gado opened his mouth to speak, then closed it. //What is going on in her head?// He couldn't begin to guess what had caused the violent, emotional reaction. In their years together, Gado had witnessed Shina's passionate fury, had even seen her laughing until her sides hurt; never had he seen her cry. His own anger dissipating completely, fading into worry, Gado stepped toward Shina. "I want you to be happy."  
  
"Yeah. Me too." She wiped her eyes with the back of her hands. "Just... don't ask, okay. I don't know, so... don't ask." After taking a final half-hearted swipe at the punching bag, Shina walked out of the room.  



	8. Leave

Author: Elizabeth Wilde  
Title: Leave  
Series: Unhealthy Obsessions #8  
Distribution: Anyone who has my fic, anyone who asks me for it  
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Bloody Roar characters or the song "Special" by Garbage, much as I wish I did. I'm not making any money, and there's really no point in suing.  
'Ship: Shenlong/Shina   
Classification: Drama  
Summary: Shina takes a stand.  
Rating: PG-13  
Spoilers: BR1 & 2  
Feedback: to vampire_slayer_d@2die4.com  
  
*I used to amuse you   
But I knew that I'd lose you  
Now you're here and begging for a chance   
but there's no way in hell I'd take you back*  
  
"Shit!" Shina yelped when she spotted Shenlong sitting on her bed. "Could you maybe not do that?"  
  
"I'm sorry." He didn't sound sorry in the least. "I told you I would come."  
  
"Yeah, I remember." Shina flicked her bedside light on and pushed herself into a sitting position, throwing back the covers. "You came to talk."  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Great." Shina climbed out of the bed and rolled her shoulders as if working out kinks. She wrapped her arms around herself as if fending off a chill-entirely possible given the lack of warmth her tank top and knit pants offered. Finally turning her wide blue eyes back to Shenlong, she asked, "So, you gonna talk?"  
  
"You got my letter?"  
  
"Yeah, I got it."  
  
"You read it?"  
  
"Yeah, I read it." Several moments passed in an uneasy mutual silence. "So?"  
  
"What do you think?"  
  
Shina sighed and sat back down on the bed. "This wasn't supposed to go like this." When Shenlong said nothing, Shina, afraid to look away from the carpet and back to him, continued, "We were supposed to have a little fun for awhile, then you were supposed to get tired of me and go the hell away. End of story. No harm done."  
  
"And then I wanted to talk."  
  
"Yep. You wanted to talk. Fucked everything up. Made it hard." Shina sighed and snorted. "Sounds stupid. I mean, most women would be bitching because you didn't want a commitment and here I am running like hell because you want... whatever it is you want." She felt the pressure of Shenlong's hand on her shoulder, sliding down her arm until he held her hand in his. Almost against her will, Shina turned and looked into his eyes.  
  
"I want you." As always, his voice was preternaturally calm, still.   
  
Shina found herself pondering the contrast of his soft voice and blazing eyes. "What do you want me for? Why me?"  
  
He seemed slightly taken aback by the question. His hand tightened slightly around hers. "I don't know."  
  
She stiffened and jerked her hand away, standing again. "You can't have me. That's why you want me, you stupid dick!"  
  
"No-"  
  
"Yes!" Shina was almost yelling. "Guys always want what they can't have. Thrill of the chase and shit like that."  
  
"The first time I asked you to talk, I already had you."  
  
Before Shina could come up with an appropriately cutting remark, the door to her room slammed open and Gado stood silhouetted in the doorway. "Get the hell away from my daughter!"  
  
Shina rolled her eyes and folded her arms across her chest, alternately glaring at Shenlong and her father. "Why are you breaking into my room in the middle of the damn night?"  
  
"I heard yelling."  
  
Shina raised a skeptical eyebrow. "And since when have I needed a bodyguard?"  
  
Gado, who had barely heard her first question, completely ignored the second, instead stalking across the room and grabbing the front of Shenlong's tunic, throwing him against the nearest wall. "If you ever come into my house again-"  
  
"I wanted to talk to Shina," Shenlong answered calmly. His voice was slightly strained, however, as Gado's fist was jammed tightly against his throat. "Just talk."  
  
"I don't care what-"  
  
"Oh, for God's sake, grow up and let go of him!" Shina snapped irritably from behind Gado. "If I want him strangled, I'll do it myself."  
  
Reluctantly, every muscle still tense for a fight, Gado lowered Shenlong until his feet touched the ground, then released him completely. The man gasped quietly and rubbed his throat, glowing eyes narrow and angry. "That was entirely unnecessary." He coughed and looked to Shina, studying her as if seeing her for the first time.  
  
"Put your eyes back in your head." Jerking a thumb toward the door, she added, "Dad, I'm a big girl. Let me take care of this. Now."  
  
Gado's back stiffened, but he complied, pausing at the door to say, "If you need me, I'm down the hall."  
  
Shina didn't bother with a reply. Instead, she waited for the sound of the door closing. "Now it's your turn."  
  
Shenlong blinked as if confused.  
  
"Get out."  
  
"But-"  
  
"Get. Out. Need me to use smaller words?" She tossed her head defiantly. "Anything my dad could do to you, I can. Get the fuck out of my room. Now."  
  
Shenlong nodded slightly. "If that's what you want."  
  
"It's what I want." She watched, face impassive, as he climbed out the window without looking back.   



	9. Conclusion 2.0

Author: Elizabeth Wilde  
Title: Conclusion 2.0  
Series: Unhealthy Obsessions   
Distribution: Anyone who has my fic, anyone who asks me for it  
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Bloody Roar characters or the song "Paranoid" by Garbage, much as I wish I did. I'm not making any money, and there's really no point in suing.  
'Ship: none; mention of Shenlong/Shina  
Classification: general, angst  
Summary: Gado worried about Shina's mindset since her breakup with Shenlong.  
Rating: PG  
Spoilers: BR1 & 2  
Feedback: to vampire_slayer_d@2die4.com  
  
*Steal me, deal me, anyway you heal me  
Maim me, tame me, you can never change me  
Love me, like me, come ahead and fight me  
Please me, tease me, go ahead and leave me*  
  
"You okay?"  
  
Shina looked away from the wall to glance over at her father, who stood in the doorway, head tilted to the side. "Fine. Go away."  
  
"Fair enough." Gado walked down the hall, frowning, and straight to the front door. He grabbed his keys from the end table and went outside.  
  
*********************  
  
Gado pounded a little louder on the door and immediately heard an annoyed female voice calling from within. "I'm coming, dammit! Quit pounding on my door!" The door flew open to reveal Jenny, clutching a blue terrycloth robe closed with one hand, green eyes flashing with anger. Her expression softened slightly when she saw who her guest was. "Come in already." She stepped aside and waited until Gado sat down on the couch, tying the sash of her robe tight while she waited. "What brings you here? At ten o'clock at night? Without calling first?"  
  
"I'm worried about Shina."  
  
"Ahhhh..." Jenny sat down on the opposite end of the couch. "Found out about her boyfriend, huh?"  
  
Gado's eyes narrowed. "You knew?!"  
  
"Yeah. Shenlong came here for advice a few days ago. Guess it helped?"  
  
"No," Gado replied shortly. "No, it didn't help. She told him to get out."  
  
Jenny's eyebrows shot up. "You're kidding! I thought-" She looked up and smiled as Long entered the room, wearing only pajama bottoms. "Hey. Come sit down." She moved forward and he came to sit behind her, giving Gado a polite nod. "He's worried about Shina." Feeling Long tense behind her, Jenny patted his hand. "It's okay, she dumped him. No bad mental pictures."  
  
"She's been sitting in her room for the past few days staring at the wall. Sometimes she leaves her room and works with a punching bag for awhile. It's... odd, even for her."  
  
"She misses him. I guess," Jenny said, brow slightly furrowed. "I'll be honest-at this point, their relationship is out of my depth. They're just... too twisted for me. If I could've gotten to Shina when she was younger-"  
  
"She hated you. More accurately, she hated the fact that you were dating her father."  
  
"Yeah, well... the girl needed direction! If she had just-"  
  
Long's voice cut in, "Dating her father?"  
  
Jenny turned toward him. "I know I mentioned that. I must've..."  
  
"You didn't."  
  
"Oh." Jenny shrugged. "Not a big deal."  
  
Looking pale and somewhat ill, Long nodded mechanically. "Not a big deal."  
  
"Anyway, if she had listened to me," Jenny said, turning back to Gado, "she might be able to get herself somebody a little more stable. Singh, dear, could you ease up a little-you're going to break my hand if you squeeze it any tighter."   
  
"Sorry," he mumbled, easing his grip.  
  
"Thank you. What was I... Oh, yes, Shina... Has she said anything to you?"  
  
"Not a damn thing," Gado replied, scowling. "She won't talk. If I ask, she tells me to go away. Actually, anytime I go near her, she tells me to go away."  
  
"Love can suck," Jenny said. She threw a glance and a smile to Long. "Glad I finally got it right. Shina picked a bad place to start, but... she's young, Alan. She's supposed to make mistakes. Now she's just got to live with it. Maybe next time she'll be ready."  
  
Gado sighed. "Yeah. Maybe." He looked up, then shook his head. "Sorry to interrupt... whatever I interrupted," he said with a slight grimace, waving a hand as if to encompass all possibilities. "Just needed somebody run this past, and-"  
  
"You can always come here," Jenny assured him. After a pause, she added, "But calling first is a good thing."  
  
"I'll remember that." Gado rose and walked to the door. "Thanks."  
  
"Anytime."  
  
*********************  
  
When Gado walked into the house, he could hear Shina working with the punching bag and headed for her immediately. "Hey."  
  
She didn't look away from what she was doing. "Hey."  
  
He stood watching her silently for a minute, then said, "I'm proud of you."  
  
That stopped her. The woman's blue eyes traveled over to her father. "For beating the hell out of a punching bag?"  
  
"Yeah. And for knowing you aren't ready for... for whatever and for not lettin' me or... or... you *know* who I mean... boss you around. You made your own decisions. I'm proud of you," he repeated. "You're... growing up." Having said what he needed to, Gado turned and walked away again.  
  
Shina stared blankly at the space where he had stood for several moments. Finally, a smile spread across her face and she went back to slamming her fists into the punching bag.  



End file.
